My experiences with paranoia and hallucianations.

     So sometimes I have issues with paranoia and hearing voices.  This comes from my disorder, what is it really like and how does it impact my life?  Usually there is no impact whatsoever, however last night it reduced the amount of sleep I was able to get.  I went to bed around midnight (which is quite late for me), and woke up around 2:30am.  The reason?  I though there was someone in the house.  This is a common thing for me to think in the middle of the night.  As I was attempting to fall back asleep I was hearing someone calling my name, again, fairly common.

     There is no "checking" the voices, other than the fact that as of right now there is no one that would be calling my name.  It is barely audible, just above a murmur.  However, the sensation that I am not alone in the house is exacerbated by the notion that I have three cats, and two of them are quite rambunctious.  They make noise in the night, often a lot of noise.  This jolts me up in a panic, thinking someone has broken in and I am in danger.  It's hard to calm down sometimes, especially if I have been having nightmares or sleep paralysis.

     The only thing I can (and do) do is get a head count and investigate sounds.  This is not something easy for me, yet I force myself to do it.  It is quite common to be uneasy in the night when strange noises arise.  Is this the only example of my, admittedly mild, paranoia?  No.  I have a classic and hilarious example.

     Late this past fall I was playing Minecraft, a game I enjoy in spurts.  For those of you not familiar with the format of their release model I shall explain.  The game is "done," however they continue to add features on a near weekly basis with a version update every few months.  In a previous update they added bats.  I had not played for several months and forgot completely that they had added bats and their sound effects.  As I was playing I heard a squeaking noise.  I was convinced I had mice.  I tore apart the house looking for evidence of mice.  It wasn't until I muted the computer and really paid attention to what was on the screen that it dawned on me.  Bats.

     To this very day I get paranoid that there are mice and/or rats in the house.  Sometimes the quick fluid movement of a cat makes me quite sure that they are a large rat.  This is how it works.  I also get paranoid/anxious when it comes to people, especially strangers.  Someone delivering ads for restaurants came to my door and put an ad in my screen door.  I was so worried he was going to knock and I would have to talk to him.  I didn't leave my house for half a week.
--JJM