Should you tell other people about mental health conditions?

     When is a good time to tell someone you suffer from a mental health condition?  The answer, as you may have guessed, is highly subjective.  Many factors play a role in the time, place, and manner in which this information should be relayed.  The biggest question, I suppose, is “does this person need to know?”  For instance, it is important when talking to a doctor or other professional about health concerns and medication that you fully disclose your diagnosis, current symptoms, and your list of medications.  It may factor into things like why your blood pressure may be high, or why you are overweight.  Many psychiatric medications are known to cause weight gain, or you may be a binge/emotional eater, in which case they may suggest therapy in conjunction with diet and exercise.

    Telling a partner, or potential partner, can be a rather tricky situation.  I have always made it a point to tell people I am dating very early on that I have bipolar.  This is because it goes to explain some of my behaviours and lets them decide if they want to invest the emotional energy in the relationship beforehand, especially while I was attempting to manage my conditions without medication.  Another important factor is that many mental disorders have a genetic component and therefore may be potentially passed on to children.  As with any genetic consideration you should always tell anyone you may have children with of your contributing factors.

     Letting a friend know of your condition is something that is far more subjective than others.  Does this person need to know?  Exactly how close are you?  Is it something that is likely to impact their life as well?  Depending on how well you know someone it may strengthen the relationship by giving a reason as to why you behave the way you do.  For instance, if you have social anxiety and often cancel plans, letting a friend know that this is the reason you cancel plans could very well lead to understanding and compassion.  If they react negatively or abandon you, chances are they were not a very good friend to begin with.  Strangers and casual acquaintances almost never need to know.

     As I have stated before, having a mental illness is not unlike having any other kind of illness, and a good guideline is if you would tell a particular person about a hypothetical physical illness, then telling them about a mental one is probably okay.  Of course, this is all highly subjective and no one should be forced into telling another person something they are not comfortable with.  If you are not comfortable telling someone something as intimate as your mental health, then don’t.  However, keep in mind that only by openly talking about it can we eliminate the stigma surrounding mental illness.

     I was once talking to someone in the mental health field; they said something along the lines of being less forthcoming about our mental state to those that do not need to know.  I think there is a clear cut difference between being proud of something and being accepting of it.  I do not think that the condition itself is something to be proud of; however a person should take great pride in their victories over their illness.  Just because you shouldn’t necessarily be proud doesn’t mean you should be ashamed either.  No one should be ashamed of something they cannot help or change.

     What are your guidelines for telling someone that you have a mental health issue?  Or, on the flip side, what would you be comfortable hearing someone tell you about their issues?

--JJM