My thoughts on seeking mental health treatment.

     Treatment is a funny thing.  As much as other people want to help their loved ones get the help they need it is up to the individual to seek treatment.  Even if they are forced into a hospital setting to a limited degree they can refuse treatment while in there, or even if they are medication compliant they can stop treatment at any time after they get out.  They may not think they have a problem, or even if they do admit a problem they may think they can control it on their own.  Likewise the issue of money comes into play because treatment can get quite expensive between the doctors and medication (let alone therapy if need be).

     Like quitting smoking or drinking, until a major event occurs that impacts either their safety or the safety of others, it is unlikely the individual will admit that they don’t have it as under control as they think they do.  And even if they do get treatment, things may not go exactly according to plan.

     I remember the first time I attempted to actually seek treatment for my issues.  It was not a crisis situation and I was working full time.  I had a therapist that I couldn’t stand and no one explained to me that for the first week or so most psychiatric medications cause a sense of sedation.  I felt zombified and instead of continuing to take my medication I stopped.  Instead of asking for a different therapist, I stopped going.

     If someone had been there to say such things as “You are allowed to change therapists,” “stick with your medication, it should get better,” or “if you don’t like the way your medicine makes you feel, you can explore other options” things would have turned out differently.  You may not have many options, but there is almost always more than a single option.

     Many people think help can be cost prohibitive.  While it can be costly, many areas offer programs that work on sliding scales to make treatment affordable to anyone.  Likewise, even if you don’t have insurance and your medication is expensive many pharmaceutical companies offer assistance programs.  I save over $600 a month via prescription assistance programs and my therapy is on a sliding income scale.

     Perhaps my situation may be considered “lucky” but I know many people in the same boat as I am.  There are more options out there than most people realize.  For many people, knowing where to start in the whole process can be overwhelming and that may also contribute to some people’s resistance to treatment.

     So what can people do to help?  Be patient.  I know you are scared for us, but we are scared, too, and need to come to terms with what is going on.  Be there for us.  Be willing to tell us that you do worry about us, but don’t pressure us unduly.  Be proactive.  We may not know where to turn to help and may be so frazzled by the whole thing that we are emotionally unable to deal with trying to get help.  I don’t mean for you to have the local hospital on speed dial, I mean help us do the research, or do it on your own so that when we say “I just don’t know what to do” you have some concrete help to give us.

     I’m not saying advice isn’t a good thing, but be mindful of the advice you are giving.  Telling us to cheer up?  That is not exactly helpful.  Telling us everything is going to be okay may sound like a great idea, but depending on what the person is going through, they may think only “easy for you to say.”  Avoid “you” statements and instead use “I” statements.  “I think, I feel.”    But don’t be a pushover either.  If some behavior is unacceptable, say so.  If we are being a jerk, tell us “That really hurt my feelings.”  It will help solidify that we are hurting others and we don’t have the level of control we think we do.

     Helping someone seek treatment is no easy task.  I do not envy those who support people through the entire process; it must be a hard thing to do.    But for those of you with the strength, thank you.  You may not hear that enough at first, but once your friend/loved one is in a better position you will often hear it.

--JJM